Mikki,

This is the last time I tell you to stop emailing me.

If I have to hunt you down like the dog you are, you will be a very sorry person!

The bruise I gave you last night when I beat you up in that parking lot was nothing..

Don't think anyone believes that lame story about you falling and slamming your face

into the fan in your room. Everyone knows I kicked your ass cuz you are a pansy!!

If you keep this up, I will give you another one to match, and maybe break a limb or two

just for fun!

Sincerely,

Melody W., Beale Street Hooker

Springfield, MO

To: Mikki

Best of luck! Break a leg...kick ass....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

- ME!!!

Aprul 29, 2003

deer mikki,

me and paw see you have a web page and fan mail, must mean you finally got famous... send money,

p.s. we got us a horse, we fed her all yer old toyz

love, maw

From: "Melody Walden" 
To: "Mikki" <mikki@scribbledthoughts.com>
Subject: letter
Date: Tue, 29 Apr 2003 14:35:24 -0500


Dear Mikki,
Just wanted to take a moment before your death to let you know how much I
appreciate your friendship. (This way I don't have to get up in front of a
bunch of people and spout off unmeaningful bullshit to make them feel
better.)

I truly appreciate you allowing me to bitch to you ALL THE TIME. I do hope
Marta understands the responsibility that is going to befall her upon your
death...(whom will I bitch about Marta to though?)

Thank you also for introducing me to all your Houston Crack head friends...I
do look forward to your funeral so that I may actually meet them face to
face. It is sad though that you will be cremated before I get to meet
you...do you think perhaps they would hold the blaze until I get there and
at least shake your hand? Yes, I think that you can arrange that for a
friend. Just go ahead and put a toe tag on that says: "Please hold waiting
to meet someone." Should really freak them out.

     I want to make sure also that you have someone who is going to take care of
your website, kinda like VC Andrews whose family continued her books after
her death...but I don't think your mom is capable, don't leave this to her
in your will.

Thanks for all the abuse you have put me through...without you I might have
gotten a big head and blown up.

Lastly, since it has become obvious that we will not get to be old, crabby,
crack smoking, jack drinking biddies together....I do appreciate your gesture
of leaving each of us ashes...this will ensure that I don't spend the rest
of my life by myself....you Mikki Lanclos are a true friend even after
death!! 

I LUB YA!!!!

Melody Walden

-----Original Message-----
From: CALPAL446@aol.com [mailto:CALPAL446@aol.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003
To: mikki@scribbledthoughts.com
Subject: feedback, add to fan mail

Mikki,

     I have come to appreciate your sophisticated sense of humor with each piece you add to your Scribble Page. Your unique brand of witticism keeps me on my toes. And sometimes I laugh until I pee. This suave, subtle style of jocularity is your trademark, and yours alone. The variety of assorted compilations lead me to believe you are truly gifted. You are blessed with a natural ability to elaborate on any subject. Maw and Paw must be proud. I include you on the list of comedians that I genuinely admire, number sixty-nine. But if for some reason someone isn't funny anymore, and or dies, you move up in the ranks. All in all, you write real good. (now put the gun down).

     However, like the proverbial Simon Cowell, I must critique. My only suggestion is that you broaden your audience to include celebrities, get their take on these extraordinary writings. Allie Landry quickly comes to mind. How wonderful it would be if she read your pieces, (wait, that last part was funny, "read" LOL), and passed them on to her celebrity friends, and then was part of your fan club. That would definitely impress me. It would be a real haiku!

     About your last piece on prearrangement of the funeral process. I, too, have given some thought to this. I am hoping that members of the United States Postal Service be in attendance along with personnel from both Hallmark and American Greeting Cards, as I have kept them afloat these past years. I have also decided that I am going to install a button at the base of my plot, and when people, several people deliver the large arrangements of flowers each month as I know they will, they will gently step on this button and a melody will play, the theme to "The Golden Girls." On my headstone, the words below my name will read, "Thank YOU for being a FRIEND." And of course, on top of the marble base, I will place a doormat, as I was one. I think all this will be apropos, don't you?

Keep writing your "STUFF"
With admiration,
Carolyn

     Such an Imagination.. did you all see that?  She just very sneakily managed to call me delusional.  I'm not sure if I should be angry.. or impressed.. I'll go with impressed for now Donna... but watch out.  You may end up in one of these rants sooner or later.  Thank you for the praise Donna.. I'm telling you.. this is all just the view of a mentally confused person.  

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: RE: Scribbled Thoughts 2004 Update
From: "josh demiddelaer" 
Date: Sat, January 10, 2004 5:21 pm
To: mikki@scribbledthoughts.com

YAY!...you're going to be published.....good for you....what does that mean
for me?....do i get a dollar....I did not tell you that you could make it
but I thought it in my heart....=D   I want my dollar...and I have to tell
you girl....you are the only girl that can make me laugh...other than Ellen
Degenerous<--that how you spell it?..i dunno    .... have a good one

josh

Dear Josh,

How do I know you really thought that, and you aren't just trying to scam me for a dollar?? hmm.. how?
 
to be in the same sentence with Ellen, rock on!  She rules.. someone else for you to go and check out, Eddie Izzard!!
 
Thank you for the compliment!  That is so awesome to hear, most of the time I think I'm just talking to myself, and everyone is reading and thinking, wtf is she talking about..
 
See you soon!
 
Mikki

its true. I don't know what your talking about...I'm just brown nosing     =D  
I don't even know the benefits of doing it...it just feels natural...

josh

Well.. at least he's honest about it

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: hi
From: "Joey" 
Date: Wed, January 14, 2004 12:30 pm
To: mikki@scribbledthoughts.com

I'm so writing you man.. just wait!

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: RE: Earwax
From: "Robert Valero-de-Lafontaine" 
Date: Mon, January 26, 2004 12:51 pm
To: mikki@scribbledthoughts.com

Mikki,

I have not written to you in a while because frankly you are starting to scare me... For a while I found this erotic and wanted to sleep with you really badly, but now I fear that my very life could be in danger... anyway that is not why I wrote... although let's be clear that I no longer want to sleep with you...

With respect to your rants... I think you should have slept with the coke delivery guy... this would have relaxed you and not made you so touchy regarding the x-mas tree. It also would have given some credence to the pregnancy diagnosis from the nurse...

On the other hand... seeing as it took two days for the coke delivery guy to find your office... he might have had an even tougher time finding his way out of his zipper...

Oh what the hell Mikki... I think I still want to sleep with you...

Rob

Well that's good to know Rob, I thought I had lost you there for a minute!

-----Original Message-----
From: CALPAL446@aol.com  
Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2004
To: mikki@scribbledthoughts.com
Subject: Ellen's book

Fullname: JESSICA
Email: MATTHEWSCOOKIES@YAHOO.COM
Where are your from?: HOUSTON, TX
Homepage name: NONE
Homepage URL: NONE
Reference: Advertisment-Banner
How good do you think this site is: Well Done!!!
Comments: HEY MIKKI, JUST WANTED TO TAKE A SEC TO LET YOU KNOW THIS IS MY 1ST TIME TO VIEW YOUR WEBSITE & EVEN COME ACROSS ANYTHING LIKE IT. AND JUST FOR THE RECORD.....YOU KICK "MAJOR" ASS GIRL!!! YOU FUCKIN' ROCK!! I READ THE "MANIFESTO" & "'BOUT ME", & #1: I THINK YOU'RE COOL AS SHIT & #2: I REALLY WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK THAT YOU GET RIGHT UP THERE IN THAT DARK NIGHT SKY WITH ALL THE REST OF THE STARS, LIKE "ELLEN"!!! KEEP UP ALL THE GOOD WORK GIRL.... YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD THAT COMES YOUR WAY!!!! MUCH LOVE

--- JESSICA***

Aww... now i'm all emotional and stuff... Thanks Jessica!