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Fan Mail
I thought.. wouldn't it be great if to get fan mail from people who come here to read the insanity.. And then I started getting some.. Here are just a few of the things I've received.-----Original Message-----From: MelodySent: January 31Subject: Restraining OrderMikki,This is the last time I tell you to stop emailing me.If I have to hunt you down like the dog you are, you will be a very sorry person!The bruise I gave you last night when I beat you up in that parking lot was nothing..Don't think anyone believes that lame story about you falling and slamming your faceinto the fan in your room. Everyone knows I kicked your ass cuz you are a pansy!!If you keep this up, I will give you another one to match, and maybe break a limb or twojust for fun!Sincerely,Melody W., Beale Street HookerSpringfield, MOAww, Melody, those words brought a tear to my eye.. and fear to my heart. And people will so believe that i got this bruise by falling. I am not scared of you. Marta can whip your ass! Thanks for writing!-Mikki-----Original Message-----From: Dupre Lori M. SSgt PACAF/DOEA Sent: Friday, MarchSubject: Fan ClubSo, I want to be in your fan club...really, I want to be important enough to be on your web page. So, I figured I'd write some unbelievable crap about how great you are and how you make my days full of sunshine. So here goes. Roses are red,Your friend made your head blue,I don't know how I'd get through the daywithout e-mails full of bullshit from you. :) I love you Mikki.LoriLori.. Its not unbelievable.. my mother thinks I'm that groovy.. she told me so through interpretive dance. I've never seen such a cross between the River dance and the alligator. But it was very spiritual!!I am so glad my bullshit emails bring such deep and lasting meaning to your life. This is a clear sign that you need therapy, but we'll go into that another time! That was a great poem though.. you show fantastic talent rhyming ability. I felt like I was watching Rainman all over again!What is this strange need to be on my website.. have you not noticed that most of the people who are "important enough" to be on my website are only so in a "this is why guppies eat their young" sorta way.Oh well, to each their own..-MikkiFrom: Maw & Paw Lanclos555 Walton MountainOzark, MO 65721Aprul 29deer mikki,me and paw see you have a web page and fan mail, must mean you finally got famous... send money,p.s. we got us a horse, we fed her all yer old toyzlove, mawGosh.. Mom, that's nice.. .As I read this, the theme to deliverance plays through my mind.. Makes me think of chitlins, collard greens, and possum soup.. Wtf is a chitlin anyway? Your money is on the way, go wait by the mailbox.From: "Melody Walden" To: "Mikki"
Subject: letterDate: Tue, Apr Dear Mikki,Just wanted to take a moment before your death to let you know how much I appreciate your friendship. (This way I don't have to get up in front of a bunch of people and spout off unmeaningful bullshit to make them feel better.)I truly appreciate you allowing me to bitch to you ALL THE TIME. I do hope Marta understands the responsibility that is going to befall her upon your death...(whom will I bitch about Marta to though?)Thank you also for introducing me to all your Houston Crack head friends...I do look forward to your funeral so that I may actually meet them face to face. It is sad though that you will be cremated before I get to meet you...do you think perhaps they would hold the blaze until I get there and at least shake your hand? Yes, I think that you can arrange that for afriend. Just go ahead and put a toe tag on that says: "Please hold waiting to meet someone." Should really freak them out. I want to make sure also that you have someone who is going to take care of your website, kinda like VC Andrews whose family continued her books after her death...but I don't think your mom is capable, don't leave this to her in your will.Thanks for all the abuse you have put me through...without you I might have gotten a big head and blown up.Lastly, since it has become obvious that we will not get to be old, crabby, crack smoking, jack drinking biddies together....I do appreciate your gesture of leaving each of us ashes...this will ensure that I don't spend the rest of my life by myself....you Mikki Lanclos are a true friend even afterdeath!! I LUB YA!!!!Melody WaldenHmm, Ok, let me first say that I didn't buy any of this crap.. you just want me to put you down as my beneficiary.. I got news for you girlie.. I'm leaving it all to my dog! What will he do with all of my things you ask? Eat them. I can rely on him to do that. He does that to everything else, I don't see why he'd stop now.I won't leave the website to my mother. I talk about her too much in the rants.. she'd be sure to go through and delete them.. However.. I can't leave it to you either. I hereby bequeath my website to my good friend Carolyn. You may bitch at Marta, she kind of likes it, and I can't wait for us to be mean and hateful on a porch in 30 years... provided we are both still alive.You are the best friend I've never met!!-----Original Message-----From: Carolyn LormandSent: Wednesday, April Subject: feedback, add to fan mailMikki, I have come to appreciate your sophisticated sense of humor with each piece you add to your Scribble Page. Your unique brand of witticism keeps me on my toes. And sometimes I laugh until I pee. This suave, subtle style of jocularity is your trademark, and yours alone. The variety of assorted compilations lead me to believe you are truly gifted. You are blessed with a natural ability to elaborate on any subject. Maw and Paw must be proud. I include you on the list of comedians that I genuinely admire, number sixty-nine. But if for some reason someone isn't funny anymore, and or dies, you move up in the ranks. All in all, you write real good. (now put the gun down). However, like the proverbial Simon Cowell, I must critique. My only suggestion is that you broaden your audience to include celebrities, get their take on these extraordinary writings. Allie Landry quickly comes to mind. How wonderful it would be if she read your pieces, (wait, that last part was funny, "read" LOL), and passed them on to her celebrity friends, and then was part of your fan club. That would definitely impress me. It would be a real haiku! About your last piece on prearrangement of the funeral process. I, too, have given some thought to this. I am hoping that members of the United States Postal Service be in attendance along with personnel from both Hallmark and American Greeting Cards, as I have kept them afloat these past years. I have also decided that I am going to install a button at the base of my plot, and when people, several people deliver the large arrangements of flowers each month as I know they will, they will gently step on this button and a melody will play, the theme to "The Golden Girls." On my headstone, the words below my name will read, "Thank YOU for being a FRIEND." And of course, on top of the marble base, I will place a doormat, as I was one. I think all this will be apropos, don't you?Keep writing your "STUFF"With admiration,Carolyn Carolyn, First of all.. so sweet of you to put me at #69. I feel violated and happy all at the same time.. A most unusual combination for someone who isn't a porn star (That weekend at band camp does not count!) I can't wait for someone to die so I can move higher up!! Let me know as I excel please!! I have thought often about writing about Ali Landry, you never know.. It may happen. I have oh so much to say about her. I am quite proud of your funeral arrangements. Foresight in planning is a brilliant thing! I will bring you flowers and step on your button.. I know all the words to the Golden Girls song, I even own the cd.. And if you threw a party.. a-a-a-a-a-and invited everyone you knew-w--w-w-w.. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say.. Thank you for being a friend!!!! I always look forward to your letters and emails and newsletters.. You are on a list of mine as well.. exactly which list, well, I'll keep that to myself. Don't be a doormat.. I will kill them for you! Call me, we'll plan it!- Mikki-----Original Message-----From: Donna Daricek Sent: A tuesday in July Subject: Re: funnyMikki, What a story. I'm telling you, I swear you could be an author. Everything you write about is in such detail, and captivates me as well as everyone else I'm sure. It's like you don't want to stop reading it till it gets to the end of the story, and most of the time I end up laughing thru the story and at the ending. You have such an imagination and storytelling thoughts. I love reading your thoughts and adventures. THEY ARE VERY INTRIGUING.Donna Such an Imagination.. did you all see that? She just very sneakily managed to call me delusional. I'm not sure if I should be angry.. or impressed.. I'll go with impressed for now Donna... but watch out. You may end up in one of these rants sooner or later. Thank you for the praise Donna.. I'm telling you.. this is all just the view of a mentally confused person. -------- Original Message --------Subject: RE: Scribbled Thoughts 2004 UpdateFrom: "josh demiddelaer" Date: Sat, January To: mikki_scribbledthoughts.comYAY!...you're going to be published.....good for you....what does that mean for me?....do i get a dollar....I did not tell you that you could make it but I thought it in my heart....=D I want my dollar...and I have to tell you girl....you are the only girl that can make me laugh...other than Ellen Degenerous<--that how you spell it?..i dunno .... have a good onejoshDear Josh,How do I know you really thought that, and you aren't just trying to scam me for a dollar?? hmm.. how? To be in the same sentence with Ellen, rock on! She rules.. someone else for you to go and check out, Eddie Izzard!! Thank you for the compliment! That is so awesome to hear, most of the time I think I'm just talking to myself, and everyone is reading and thinking, wtf is she talking about.. See you soon! Mikkiits true. I don't know what your talking about...I'm just brown nosing =D I don't even know the benefits of doing it...it just feels natural...josh
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